"If you want this choice position, / Have a cheery disposition..."

[chanaleh]

Oh, so tired. :-} My last day at MIT tomorrow promises to be a very long one, and I'm headed to bed.

But, in the middle of this intensive soul-searching period, I shall first post this list that I wrote up a couple of years ago and have been meaning to post ever since.

The list itself is undated, but the to-do list scrawled on the reverse is dated July 2002, and I suspect this dates from sometime that fall. Make of that what you will. I might augment it slightly, today, but on the whole it still seems impressively thorough.


What I wish for in a partner

1. Someone:
   
   • bright (who can keep up with or a step ahead of me)
     
   • funny (who can make me laugh -- often and happily)
     
   • kind (who treats me and other people in a way that makes me proud to be associated with him)
     
   • articulate (whom I love to hear talk)
     
   • contemplative (who can make me think more deeply about things, and/or be moved by me to do so)
     
   • musical (whom I can sing with)
     
   • responsible (whom I can trust actively with half the practical details of everyday life, the future, and our [mutual and individual] goals)
   
   
2. A willing and interested partner in making a Jewish home, living an engaged Jewish life, and raising Jewish children.
   
3. A willing and interested partner in making a comfortable and welcoming home and raising secure, creative, well-socialized (and, of course, gorgeous) children.
   
4. Someone who keeps life interesting.
   
5. Someone with an adventurous spirit, interested in doing and seeing, who can talk me into doing things I might not otherwise do. Someone I can get psyched about driving cross-country with -- but who also finds it sustaining to lie on a beach with me, and feels grounded at home as well.
   
6. Someone I get a physical charge out of being near, whom I love to look at and touch (and please).
   
7. Someone who can appreciate and value my wit and charm and grace and power and beauty and skill.
   
8. Someone who makes me feel safer, stronger, empowered, able to take on the world.
   
9. Someone I can share key activities and interests with (e.g., theater).
   
10. Someone who will dance with me. (Ideally, with skill and assurance; but more importantly, with pleasure and enthusiasm.)
    
11. Someone in touch with his own needs, preferences, desires, dreams -- and able to work toward actualizing them.

The current status of these various elements is left as an exercise for the reader.

I am tempted to turn off comments, but I don't necessarily want to stifle sincere discussion on these topics.
However, ANYONE who (is not my current partner and) sends me ANYTHING resembling a checked-off application -- even in jest, and those of you whom I'm addressing bloody well know who you are; yes, you -- will be summarily killed. I'm just not in the mood for that kind of feedback, thanks.

Comments

[beardedone.livejournal.com]

I agree that you should make such a list. If a woman can make such a list, and not be scolded for it, then they shouldn't be able to scold you for doing the same thing.

List away!!!