Settling in

Tuesday, May 13th, 2014 01:30 pm
chanaleh: (breathe)
I thought I would have tons of time to write once I was here, and the answer is probably that I *do* have time to write, but I have not really felt the inclination.

I have instead spent a lot of time doing crosswords, reading Game of Thrones, watching Game of Thrones, drinking coffee, dicking around on Facebook, practicing/learning songs for performing with [ profile] etrace's band, cooking breakfast and/or dinner, baking bread (mostly bread machine, but also some handmade focaccia that turned out OK), petting the dog(s) and cats -- and snuggling with my husband, generally marveling at the state of my life.

Yeats wrote, "Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor that but simply growth. We are happy when we are growing."

I think this is a time not so much of growth as of... rooting in.

I've been overextended and undernourished for so long. There'll be time enough to Get Things Done later this year, when we start to work in earnest on growing the business and searching for an outside job for me. Right now, if I want to sit on the porch in my pajamas for two hours every morning, I totally can, and that's kind of the best thing in the world.

(Though I do think it would be good to pick up again the Artist's Way practice of "morning pages": writing three pages of drivel every morning without fail, in order to clear out the internal static and make room for actual creative work/focus.)

Some productive things I have successfully done... )

Also, sometime late last week we went "Hm, we seem to have invited 50 people over for lunch next Sunday, better start figuring out what we're doing for them," so there's been a flurry of list-making and menu-planning and inventorying and shopping.

Coming soon is the related realization "Hm, we seem to be about to leave on this five-week cross-country roadtrip, perhaps we should make sure we've tied up any loose ends, reach out with a rough idea of schedule to the people we hope to see, stuff like that."

... And here we are!

Thursday, April 24th, 2014 09:45 pm
chanaleh: (Default)
I am an Indiana resident again.

notes on the last ~10 days )

It's beginning to feel like home. Like I am already becoming the person who lives here, with [ profile] etrace, and not the person who lived in Brooklyn just a week ago.

And as I said wonderingly to [ profile] etrace on Sunday... "Is it weird to be this happy?"
chanaleh: (Default)
... I mean, a full-time housewife!
... I mean, a full-time freelancer! :-D

Because my last day at work was Friday. One more milestone down.

On Day 1 (Monday) I did what I thought was the majority of my taxes, only to find out that I was facing almost $2000 in taxes (federal + state) due to having earned almost $7500 in freelance income in 2013. So I spent the bulk of yesterday going back through my 2013 credit card statements to claim Every Single Possible Deductible Expense, with the help of a shiny new OpenOffice spreadsheet, and succeeded in getting that tax bill down to about $700. Go me!

Also, [ profile] taylweaver had us over for lunch this past Shabbat, and [ profile] jessruth came over on Sunday to help us start packing (and eat lentil stew and homemade cookies). And we packed another 5+ cartons of books last night, with more to come tonight.

Also, yesterday was Death of Windows XP Day. Sniff!

Married life

Wednesday, March 12th, 2014 07:40 am
chanaleh: EVERYTHING WILL BE AMAZING (amazing)
We've been married almost a month. Four weeks this Friday!

In that time, I've been rereading A Civil Campaign and then Pride and Prejudice, because it's been so delightful reading about other people's successful culmination of their improbable but eminently suitable matches. :-)

It had been some time since I read P&P (I thought about picking it up when [ profile] theatreatfirst staged it two years ago, but apparently I never did). And nearing the end, I got to this quote from Mr. Bennett on learning that Elizabeth actually wished to marry Darcy:

"I know your disposition, Lizzy. I know that you could be neither happy nor respectable, unless you truly esteemed your husband; unless you looked up to him as a superior. Your lively talents would place you in the greatest danger in an unequal marriage. You could scarcely escape discredit and misery. My child, let me not have the grief of seeing *you* unable to respect your partner in life."

And reading that, I stood there (on the subway) and went, Oh. My God. That's it. That's me. That's exactly what happened to me the first time. Discredit and misery.

... And now, five and a half years later, I'm standing on this opposite shore where all the pieces have at last, miraculously, somehow come together into their right relation, a new wholeness.

(I came home and explained this to [ profile] etrace, and he was like, "Wow, no pressure." ;-)

In short, everything would be pretty great right now were it not for my working 10-hour days (plus another 90+ minutes a day commuting). BUT... as of Friday, I will have only 1 week left (gah!) to the big website launch, 3 weeks left at my job (we actually found me a replacement yay!), and 5 weeks til we move.

I booked the U-Haul last night (10' truck) for Thursday, April 17. So the horizon really is in sight. (-- I mean, scheduling my own personal exodus during Passover... why not?)
chanaleh: EVERYTHING WILL BE AMAZING (amazing)
Slightly belated, but here it is finally!

10 goals from 2013 ( cf. original list: LJ | DW )
A mixed bag, but overall, progress was made. )

10+ additional achievements of 2013:
This is almost entirely discontinuous from anything I envisioned last year. )

15 goals for 2014:
I was going to make it 10, but then I found I really do have more plans than that framed out for this year. )

Wishing all of us a year of physical health, emotional growth, and spiritual abundance.
chanaleh: (sleeping)
The big move took place a few days ago. Huge props to [ profile] filkerdave for providing enormous moral and logistical support throughout both Saturday (when we basically packed my entire kitchen, then drove over an initial carload of Non-Truckable Things) and Sunday (when the actual movers came). Stats as posted to Facebook on Sunday evening:

Load-out: ~2.75 hrs.
Load-in: ~2.25 hrs.
Grief-related meltdowns: only 1.5.
On the whole, a successful move.

([ profile] trowa_barton: "What constitutes half a meltdown?" One full-on, standing out on 116th St. by the truck, to the point where the moving guys asked if everything was OK; one momentary, later, after all the hauling was done, when we made shehecheyanu over well-earned gin and tonics.)

Barbara and Arnold were passing through town and came over Brooklynward just at the right time to see the place and go out for Indian food with us, so that was perfect.

Then two days of work, and then I went on a 2-day work retreat to the Hamptons (which was only mildly eventful, in a nice and not-very-work-related way), so I am now back.

The good news is, as of this afternoon (shortly before I returned), we now have hot & cold running Internet! So I am not just back, but back online. The even better news is, I have a comp day tomorrow, so I will be home to (a) unpack, (a') maybe do laundry, (b) catch up on email, (c) visit with DF, and (d) get the cooking gas installed sometime between noon and 6pm.

But right now, I get to GO TO BED and that is the best news of all.

In(ter)dependence Day

Thursday, July 4th, 2013 10:02 pm
chanaleh: (move to nyc)
One funny note: Yesterday I found out that double-red-cell blood donation is also therapeutic for insomnia. Sort of. )

Today, [ profile] justom left for DC around 1pm (to make himself scarce be out of my way for moving day by visiting [ profile] marcusmarcusrc), and so we spent some time in the late morning patching things up to a reasonable détente. And then it actually took me til midafternoon to start making any serious headway on packing, but now the office is almost entirely packed, except of course for the computer (which I'll wait until Saturday).

So, I gather there are fireworks happening... possibly right this very minute. I had thought earlier of possibly going outside tonight to look at them, but right now I find that I really just don't care all that much! I think the best thing I could do would be to eat, pack a few more things, shower, and go to bed by 11pm.

ETA: I totally neglected to mention the awesome strike force consisting of [ profile] chaos_wrangler and G, [ profile] ladymondegreen, [ profile] akawil, and [ profile] pecunium, that descended on my house last Sunday afternoon and blitzed through packing ALL of my books and clothes in about 2.5 hours. This made a huge difference in terms of both logistics and morale, and I am incredibly grateful. ZZ will be on hand both Saturday (to help me bring over an advance carload) and Sunday (when the actual movers come), and I'm incredibly grateful for that too. <3
chanaleh: (scream)
So, Tisha B'Av (the 9th of the month of Av) is a catastrophic day in the history of the Jewish people: anniversary of the destruction of both temples in Jerusalem, and of many many other calamities over the millennia.

"From the moment Av arrives, we are to diminish our rejoicing."
For the nine days preceding Tisha B'Av we observe intensified restrictions. We do not:
• eat meat, except on Shabbat
• drink wine, except on Shabbat
• purchase or wear new clothes
• get haircuts

At the same time, the month of Av is traditionally given the epithet "Menachem Av," Av the consoler. Hurt/comfort, if you will.

Nu, so Rosh Chodesh Menachem Av is Monday, July 8.

Right now I'm trying to pull my moving date back (or is that push it forward?) to Sunday, July 7, in an effort to get the fuck out of here. Because we are done. So very done. We had a chance to end things positively and respectfully, but no. I've often said that [ profile] justom will never be contented until he has driven my expectations all the way down to zero. Well, our relationship has finally descended onto the Kelvin scale.

As noted on Facebook, I signed a lease in Brooklyn with [ profile] alanscottevil the other night. (Pics of the lovely place here. Hoping for some kind of housewarming right after Tisha B'Av.)

I have accordingly begun the sorting/packing blitz, and ordered moving boxes to be delivered tomorrow (Friday) evening. Anyone NYC-local feel like coming over Sunday the 30th to give me a hand packing books and such? I'll feed you. Yes, I know it's the Pride Parade, but this is my own pride parade.

PS: On the topic of relationship recovery, [ profile] capnawkward_rss offers up the poem "Love after Love" by Derek Walcott.

PPS: In happier news, my new band, the Bliss Jockeys, is playing tonight at Cafe Wha? down on MacDougal St., 7:00-8:30pm. I'm not actually singing with the band tonight -- my debut gig will be July 18, also right after Tisha B'Av -- but I'll be there rocking out (and helping out). This is a Perceivable Joy.
"There's more than just one recipe, girl, to feel good about what you choose,
So when it comes down to it, do what you gotta do."
chanaleh: (move to nyc)
I'm pleased to say that after viewing a total of two 2BR apts in Prospect Heights, ASB and I put in an application yesterday on a really lovely top-floor unit on Lincoln Place (a block from Eastern Parkway and Nostrand Ave, Brooklyn). Pics and more details once the lease is safely signed, but we have been approved by the very nice landlady (50ish, we think Jewish, occupies the 2 downstairs floors), and bli ayin hara, the signing is scheduled for tomorrow (Tuesday) night.

All it will be missing... is [ profile] justom. :-(

(I want to say that overall the search process was really remarkably painless. But that seems the wrong word to use in light of the above. It's about as good as it could have been, though.)

April 2018



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