We only live, only suspire / Consumed by either fire or fire

[chanaleh]

(test post via email, public)

I am profoundly grateful to everyone who has offered comments on my last entry. I am sort of stunned that the overall themes are so consistent; I guess I expected a wider range of small stuff, but this way was perhaps even more worth hearing. It's helping me. Thank you.

At the end of that entry I included the mantra "Growth. Love. Connection." I think that constitutes a good picture of my goals for the current crucible, but it's become clear to me over the past two nights that I also need one for the process at hand, and that looks more like: Kindness. Patience. Grounding. Courage.

I think I can assert literally that this right now is the hardest emotional work I have ever done. I feel myself swinging back and forth between doing it well (embracing it) and doing it poorly (fighting it tooth and nail) -- sometimes within the same conversation. But when I am embracing it, I feel that I am working to support my core values, rather than against them, as I have felt (deep down) at some other difficult times in the past. This awareness gives me strength, when I let it.

All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.

Comments

[jehanna.livejournal.com]

At the end of that entry I included the mantra "Growth. Connection. Love." I think that constitutes a good picture of my goals for the current crucible, but it's become clear to me over the past two nights that I also need one for the process at hand, and that looks more like: Kindness. Patience. Grounding. Courage.

Oh jeez, do I hear this. Best wishes for your journey!

[melopoeia.livejournal.com]

your tenacity speaks well of you. blessings.

[oneagain.livejournal.com]

Melting walls, especially the formerly unrecognized walls, can indeed be scary and right up there with many of the other hero(ine)'s journeys. Fare thee well on thy journey:)

You know, we never did that buy $10 worth of drinks and get yummy food and 80's music thingola on a Tuesday night. Does this hold any interest? We cauld have some girl time edited by dance and nostalgia. And alcohol. I might even imbibe if I don't drive there and they have girly drinks...

[chanaleh.livejournal.com]

Oh, that thing! Yes -- the time that I went, it ended up being much less "dance party" and more "half-empty happy hour where the three of us got up and danced next to the bar anyway" (maybe we were just there too early, I dunno), but it WAS still pretty fun and a good deal. Anyway, it's definitely on the T, at Govt Ctr. If we scheduled right, we could go from there to contras@MIT which I never get to on Tuesdays either. ;-)

Unfortunately my next 6 Tuesday nights are booked (no joke!), and basically so is the month of April since I'm going away for most of the last two weeks. So either we could plan for May 17, or pick another night in May to do something else (first)!

[oneagain.livejournal.com]

I'm busy the 17th, but we could go on the 23d...

By the way, I have a Sixflags New England season's pass, which means...

[oneagain.livejournal.com]

I can get you in for free on the following days (and possibly on 4/24. I also have a parking season's pass, so if you would cover driving, I could cover parking and ticket for us both. What sez you?

http://www.sixflags.com/newengland/info/parkInfo.aspx

Re: By the way, I have a Sixflags New England season's pass, which means...

[chanaleh.livejournal.com]

Hmm, this would depend heavily on what the actual days you mean are (I can't see them on that page! and I am away 4/24 for sure). But maybe! I'm certainly happy to drive. More info?

Re: By the way, I have a Sixflags New England season's pass, which means...

[oneagain.livejournal.com]

I am confused why you can't see that page; try again? There is a calendar for both April and May, the highlighted green dates mark which days the park is open. If you still can't see it, I can just copy the dates and post them here. They are also open on Sunday, 4/17.

Also, yes, May 24th would work (that's what I meant:)

Re: By the way, I have a Sixflags New England season's pass, which means...

[chanaleh.livejournal.com]

Oh, you meant ANY of the days the park is open. Huh. :-) In April or May only?

April's pretty much shot and May weekends are getting there too... but the 7th or 8th could work, if we got back reasonably early. (That Sat night is dhs's b'day party which I meant to finally try to get to for once; Sun is Menschen rehearsal at 7pm which is non-optional as it's final dress before a concert.)

Of course, I think ablock will be cranky if I go to the park at any time without him ;-) but we'll see how it goes.

And I will pencil you in for Red Sky on the 24th!

[chanaleh.livejournal.com]

And I'm expecting to join you on the 18th anyway. :-)

May 23rd's a Monday, you mean the 24th? Could do!

[muffyjo]

*sits quietly, listening*

I could add some words to this but you're really doing all the hard work. Mostly, I hear you and I'm offering support and letting you know it's good work.

[qiika.livejournal.com]

Echoing what muffyjo said.