cheshbon ha-nefesh
Wednesday, September 19th, 2012 11:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chanaleh
For sins between man and God, Yom Kippur atones. But for sins between a man and his fellow, Yom Kippur does not atone until he appeases his fellow. -- Mishnah Yoma 8:8-9
I just sat down and wrote two emails that I have been storing up in my heart for some months to send before Yom Kippur. (The practice, for those unfamiliar, is to contact people you've hurt over the past year and attempt to make amends... or at least, here, specific and mindful apologies.)
I think there is a lot more accounting and self-examination I could fruitfully do this season, because to be honest, it's been kind of a crap year on the personal-growth front. (Or rather, maybe, I've been trying hard to grow and finding it painful and not handling it very gracefully. I keep having the feeling that I'm just about to crest some incredible emotional summit... only it ends up being a small local maximum, and after a quick sail on light wings, I'm suddenly slogging uphill again.)
Maybe this means I need to figure out some kind of healing practice that is going to get me past it and start really being my best self again.
But for right this moment, I think it means that I can go to bed now.
I just sat down and wrote two emails that I have been storing up in my heart for some months to send before Yom Kippur. (The practice, for those unfamiliar, is to contact people you've hurt over the past year and attempt to make amends... or at least, here, specific and mindful apologies.)
I think there is a lot more accounting and self-examination I could fruitfully do this season, because to be honest, it's been kind of a crap year on the personal-growth front. (Or rather, maybe, I've been trying hard to grow and finding it painful and not handling it very gracefully. I keep having the feeling that I'm just about to crest some incredible emotional summit... only it ends up being a small local maximum, and after a quick sail on light wings, I'm suddenly slogging uphill again.)
Maybe this means I need to figure out some kind of healing practice that is going to get me past it and start really being my best self again.
But for right this moment, I think it means that I can go to bed now.