Memo to Self:

[chanaleh]

"I care so much for you that I would give you anything and ask for nothing"
is, ultimately, not going to prove anything nor impress anyone, much less sway them into reciprocating your love. It doesn't work on you, Self; why would you expect it to work when you pull it on anyone else?

Oh yeah: neither is it a healthy nor a sustainable position to put yourself in. But you knew that already.

Comments

[jehanna.livejournal.com]

Hard to remember not to do this, isn't it?

And somehow one never seems to think about what sort of person the other would have to be to accept that kind of offer at the time....

*hugs*

[lyonesse.livejournal.com]

...and yet, sometimes plain, pure generosity is a good thing. from parents to children, for example. partnership it ain't, but i'm still loathe to mock true charity, as long as it's aware of what it is.

[jehanna.livejournal.com]

I had assumed that the context was in a romantic relationship, and while selfless charity is good at times in all relationships, only one person getting their needs met all the time is hardly a good basis for a love match.

[lyonesse.livejournal.com]

i quite agree, which is why i said above that partnership this ain't.

[jehanna.livejournal.com]

Hm. On a reread I can see it, yeah. Must've missed the specific import the first time through.

[hammercock.livejournal.com]

"I care so much for you that I would give you anything and ask for nothing" is, ultimately, not going to prove anything nor impress anyone, much less sway them into reciprocating your love.

This is important to remember in the context of partner relationships. It actually does prove something, but not anything good; what it proves is that the person making that offer is a doormat with no self-esteem, and probably with a martyr complex to boot. Instead of making the other love you, it will make him take you for granted and feel confident that he can walk all over you without any fear of reprisal or need for reciprocation of feelings or effort. And, in the end, after enduring all of that, you probably won't love him or yourself at all. So much better not to go there in the first place. This I can say from experience.

[maedbh7.livejournal.com]

Instead of making the other love you, it will make him take you for granted and feel confident that he can walk all over you without any fear of reprisal or need for reciprocation of feelings or effort.

Or, if they themselves are sane, they will recognize that you have said aforementioned doormat and no-self-esteem complex and will run fast in the opposite direction, exactly counter to the aims you had hoped to achieve. Experience, and all that. *hug for the having* -H...

[exponentialdk.livejournal.com]

It actually does prove something

Oh, is that why it sounds so familiar.