et she-ahava nafshi

[chanaleh]

Opening weekend went well. Performances ranged from stellar to merely very good. :-) I am genuinely happy to have another four performances (plus brush-up rehearsal!) to be with this lovely group of people before it all goes away.

But I'm looking forward to having some free time again. Conversely, (although I should be happy to be going to visit) it pains me that the minute the show is over I have to fly away to California and be outside of my own life still, completely differently, for another week.

So although I got into bed last night by 10:30pm, I'm pretty sure I saw the wrong side of 1am yet again, because I still could not sleep. It did mean I finally got a chance to sit up with the Song of Songs that jessruth sent me for my birthday. Which both helped... and didn't.

At night in my bed I longed for
the one whom my soul loves.
I sought him, but did not find him.

I must rise and go about the city,
the narrow streets and squares, till I find
the one whom my soul loves.
I sought him, but did not find him.

Then the watchmen found me
as they went about the city.
"Have you seen him? have you seen
the one whom my soul loves?"

No sooner had I passed them than I found
the one whom my soul loves.
I held him, I would not let him go
until I brought him to my mother's house,
into my mother's room.

Daughters of Jerusalem, swear to me
by the gazelles, by the deer in the field,
that you will never awaken love
until it is ripe.

-- Shir ha-Shirim 3:1-5

Perhaps that is the core of it. My love has been awakened, but the time of ripeness is not yet.
Sometimes I wish I were actually patient instead of merely stubborn.

Also, on a whim, I went to my first condo open house yesterday. Just to see (and the units there were nothing great), but I actually put myself on the realtor's contact list. Which doesn't represent any further commitment to this fantasy, except symbolically; but now I suspect the whole concept is suddenly also weighing on my subconscious.

Comments

[msmidge.livejournal.com]

What does a not-that-great condo go for these days?

[chanaleh.livejournal.com]

$219k. Actually the physical plant was quite nice; it was the layout that was suboptimal, including the fact that the bedroom overlooks the main street (which I will never consent to again in this lifetime).

[besamim.livejournal.com]

Is that the Marcia Falk translation?

[chanaleh.livejournal.com]

It's Bloch and Bloch, but they drew on Falk at least slightly, and anyway I adapted the above myself somewhat.

[navrins]

Ah, yes, the slippery slope of the "Well, maybe I could go look at one... just to look..."

But once you've admitted the possibility that just MAYBE you really COULD buy one, it's hard to stop thinking about it.

[sanpaku.livejournal.com]

Have you ever heard the Lukas Foss chamber music version of Song of Songs? It's very passionate and interesting (and better than the free clips on Amazon!). Worth tracking down at a library.

[sidruid.livejournal.com]

Heh, i've been looking at not-so-great condos too recently - tho here they go for 300-400K. I'm thinking its really about time i bought a place. Need to work out the financials on that, too.

[goljerp]

Hah. Amateurs. There's a condo that I'd love... except they're askin 745K.

[goljerp]

Argh, I keep on trying to put a comment in with the url I messed up above. It's here.

[vettecat.livejournal.com]

Yeowch! And I thought Boston was bad...

[goljerp]

Yep. Although I should point out that the condo in question isn't "not-so-good". Also, in New York City, Condos are more expensive, because most apartment buildings where you can buy apartments are "Co-op"s. As I understand it, Co-ops are actually little corporations which just happen to give apartments to people who own shares in 'em. And being privately held corporations, their boards can (and do) veto the selling of shares for pretty much any reason (other than racial or sexual discrimination). So it's harder to get in (and out) of 'em, compared to Condos... so condos are more expensive.

[goljerp]

Oooh, Erica's been reading erotic love poetry in bed again! :-)

I like the Bloch translation (gave Joy a copy for our first Valentine's day :-)

[vettecat.livejournal.com]

So it begins. :-) (We're musing about moving up from condo to house, but realistically it probably won't happen for a while.)

And I think you're right about the patience...