letting go

[chanaleh]

http://www.theartoflettinggo.com/love.html has this to say:

"The one from whom you have separated will not soon be forgotten, though great distances may separate the two of you. Give the memory of that person the chance to help you by insisting on rememb ering the beautiful experiences that united you. The painful ones which separated you will need no coaxing from the memory. Turn your anger into love. Take the qualities you found in the other person and develop them in yourself, use them as a way of bett er experiencing your love for all the others who are important in your life. After all, those were qualities which brought you into love and they are no less worthy today.

"Love has no guilt and no boundaries. In fact, it has no definition. Yes, it is th e force which takes us out of ourselves so that we may share ourselves with others. Yet it is also the force that leads us into ourselves, so that we may understand and prepare ourselves for the act of giving. You cannot resolve the bitterness and pain of the separation you are experiencing by continuing to dwell on these feelings. Come alive with the force which is the essence of life itself. You are leaving one relationship, one stop in your journey. There is still a path before you. Walk in love."

***

Why, pray tell, am I Googling on "letting go"? Because of the final talk that Matthew and I had last night, in which many things were said that will not be recapped here, some anger and disappointment were expressed on both sides, and ultimately he wal ked out the door... not to return.

This is different from the breaking-up we had in January, when the official result was to put things "on hold". 'Cause, well, it seems they're off hold now.

I mean, I can't expect to keep a person on hold forever; e ventually he's going to get sick of it and hang up. Obviously.

What *have* I been expecting to accomplish by holding onto this the way I have? Right now, I have no idea. All I know is, I feel cold and empty and like I should finally start taking down all his pictures and letters and putting them away -- except that I just can't face it. Denial is much more comforting.
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Comments

[points.livejournal.com]

*Hugs*

[saxikath]

Oh, I'm sorry. :( Hugs if you want 'em.

(And that's a great pic of you, btw.)

[tahnan.livejournal.com]

Well. You know what they say.

I mean. I hope you know what they say; I sure as hell don't.

I guess I know what some of them say. Neil Simon says, "If we didn't have problems, the day would be over at eleven o'clock in the morning." And, er, yeah. I guess that, you know, in the end, if this sort of thing were easy, people'd do it more often, and that can't be a good thing. Then again, if this thing shouldn't ever happen, it'd be impossible.

Also, I make a lot more sense when I'm awake. But, er, if, er, you know, if you need, er, anything, not that I know what it might be, but if it is, I mean, something you need, that is, then you know where to find me. For the thing. You need. Whatever it is.

Alternately, I'll see you Thursday.

[chanaleh.livejournal.com]

Henry, you have this charming way of making me feel that I reduce you to a stammering idiot. ;-)

Looking forward to the show,
Erica

[sunspiral.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm really sorry. If you need to talk, or want tea, sympathy, & a home-cooked dinner, gimme a call.