A la David Letterman...
Sunday, April 11th, 2004 10:15 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chanaleh
I wrote this a few years ago around this time to send to my brother, and figured I might as well resurrect trot it out again.
** THE TOP TEN REASONS WHY PEOPLE EAT HAM ON EASTER**
10. Commemorates Biblical sacrifice of the Paschal lamb -- some idiot thought they said "Paschal-HAM"
#9. Back when Jews outnumbered Christians, it was the only meat you could get cheaply at Passover time
#8. Baby chickies still too small to roast
#7. Pink color coordinates best with pastel table linens
#6. Two words: pineapple glaze
#5. Spiral slicing just so darn convenient
#4. Ham-and-egg connection so strong in people's minds, Easter eggs just seem lonely without it
#3. Folkloric tradition that pigs resurrect after three days -- just like Jesus
#2. Easter Bunny's PR staff successfully drove out the original standard: rabbit stew
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON FOR EATING EASTER HAM....
#1. Religious backlash: "Hey, check this out -- Easter means we're not Jewish anymore!"
** THE TOP TEN REASONS WHY PEOPLE EAT HAM ON EASTER**
10. Commemorates Biblical sacrifice of the Paschal lamb -- some idiot thought they said "Paschal-HAM"
#9. Back when Jews outnumbered Christians, it was the only meat you could get cheaply at Passover time
#8. Baby chickies still too small to roast
#7. Pink color coordinates best with pastel table linens
#6. Two words: pineapple glaze
#5. Spiral slicing just so darn convenient
#4. Ham-and-egg connection so strong in people's minds, Easter eggs just seem lonely without it
#3. Folkloric tradition that pigs resurrect after three days -- just like Jesus
#2. Easter Bunny's PR staff successfully drove out the original standard: rabbit stew
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON FOR EATING EASTER HAM....
#1. Religious backlash: "Hey, check this out -- Easter means we're not Jewish anymore!"