A bit at loose ends
Wednesday, September 21st, 2011 01:07 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chanaleh
There's an ice cream truck that sporadically takes up residence down the block in the late afternoon. Mercifully, its beepy little tunes actually comprise quite a nice repertoire, ranging from "Für Elise" and "Greensleeves" to "Moon River" to "Morning Has Broken" and "The Sound of Silence"...
But last time I absoutely swear heard it playing "Dona Dona". A Jewish folk song about a calf being led to slaughter? Really? I mean, really?
Only in NYC, I guess.
So... I noticed as of today, or maybe last night, that endless vacation in the City That Never Sleeps is starting to wear just a little thin.
My problem is manifesting partly as a case of the don't-wannas. I've been doing some cooking most days. I've started working on an art project that someone from shul commissioned from me right before I left Boston. I'll be psyched to spend half a day writing my Rosh Hashanah cards when they get here, but that might not be until this Friday afternoon. But I don't really feel like doing the few unpacking-type things I have remaining (sweaters, scarves, the 15 shoeboxes of old letters and playbills I failed to sort through before the move and would really like to get cleared out). I don't really feel like doing any of the writing I've set out for myself over the past several months-to-years.
I've submitted at least 15 more job applications since Sunday morning, but it takes a surprising amount of mental energy -- and, though in principle I like to think that that earns me the right to some wholehearted leisure time, for every one I put in, I see three more I should apply to, so it kind of never ends.
As for leisure: Walking around and exploring is great, but I can only pound the pavement (so to speak) for about 2-3 hours a day before I start to drag. I can't seem to sleep more than 7 hours at a stretch [note entry timestamp], or manage to nap much. Having recently spent hundreds of dollars moving hundreds of books with me from Boston to here, I'm currently unenthusiastic about (re)reading any of them. I've thought about watching movies, but we sold my little old TV before the move and haven't yet obtained anything else to which I can hook up my VHS/DVD player! And there are lots of leisure-type activities I could see indulging in (see Harry Potter 7b in the theater, get a pedicure, attend a yoga class, sit and read/write in the yuppie coffeehouse down the block with a latte and a cupcake) if I wanted to spend the money, which I don't right now, things being how they are. (I know, I know, NYC has more free cultural offerings than one could possibly shake a Metrocard at -- the which said, even to get out downtown for most of it is $5 round-trip in subway fares. But the bigger problem is that I haven't really gotten the hang of all this yet, both in terms of tapping into the stream of possible activities, and then also filtering it to what actually feels worth checking out, as opposed to just 'anything that isn't the interior of this apartment'... which I suspect is a phenomenon related to Fear Of Missing Something.)
So instead, I end up sitting around half the day refreshing Facebook and LJ... which leads me to the insight that perhaps another part of my problem is that I am lonely, you guys. I'm used to having, not just a lot of responsibility, but generally a lot of inputs, social and otherwise. I haven't known what bored feels like in YEARS, because I organized my life that way. :-) It's good to get some downtime, but it leaves me a little... directionless.
Further compounding all this: One of the schools where I had interviewed last week has already said "no, thank you", and the other hasn't gotten back to me yet, but I'm not feeling super optimistic at the moment. (Fortunately, I am happy to announce that I *do* have another interview this Thursday morning -- thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
jessruth's good networking! -- at a certain other Manhattan day school of the Modern Orthodox persuasion, so we'll see what happens there. But everything else I've submitted so far is just disappearing into a black hole.) Likewise, after I had such a good time with the Iolanthe performance this weekend, and was starting to look forward to having more singing opportunities with fun people in the near future... the results of my Blue Hill audition came back tonight as "gee, we had so many fine applicants, wouldn't you like to participate on the Backstage side this year?" Sigh. I mean, yes, I would, and I will, but I'm kind of going "But, but, don't I get to sing??" :-}
On the plus side, today I went out and had a nice lunch date withjustom's sister-in-law, who was passing through Midtown, and then I walked around and window-shopped (successfully getting all the fun of trying on clothes without actually succumbing to buying anything). And I got a library card, which means many more new books and DVDs in my immediate future.
And don't forget we have our housewarming this Sunday night!
And now I think it's really bedtime.
But last time I absoutely swear heard it playing "Dona Dona". A Jewish folk song about a calf being led to slaughter? Really? I mean, really?
Only in NYC, I guess.
So... I noticed as of today, or maybe last night, that endless vacation in the City That Never Sleeps is starting to wear just a little thin.
My problem is manifesting partly as a case of the don't-wannas. I've been doing some cooking most days. I've started working on an art project that someone from shul commissioned from me right before I left Boston. I'll be psyched to spend half a day writing my Rosh Hashanah cards when they get here, but that might not be until this Friday afternoon. But I don't really feel like doing the few unpacking-type things I have remaining (sweaters, scarves, the 15 shoeboxes of old letters and playbills I failed to sort through before the move and would really like to get cleared out). I don't really feel like doing any of the writing I've set out for myself over the past several months-to-years.
I've submitted at least 15 more job applications since Sunday morning, but it takes a surprising amount of mental energy -- and, though in principle I like to think that that earns me the right to some wholehearted leisure time, for every one I put in, I see three more I should apply to, so it kind of never ends.
As for leisure: Walking around and exploring is great, but I can only pound the pavement (so to speak) for about 2-3 hours a day before I start to drag. I can't seem to sleep more than 7 hours at a stretch [note entry timestamp], or manage to nap much. Having recently spent hundreds of dollars moving hundreds of books with me from Boston to here, I'm currently unenthusiastic about (re)reading any of them. I've thought about watching movies, but we sold my little old TV before the move and haven't yet obtained anything else to which I can hook up my VHS/DVD player! And there are lots of leisure-type activities I could see indulging in (see Harry Potter 7b in the theater, get a pedicure, attend a yoga class, sit and read/write in the yuppie coffeehouse down the block with a latte and a cupcake) if I wanted to spend the money, which I don't right now, things being how they are. (I know, I know, NYC has more free cultural offerings than one could possibly shake a Metrocard at -- the which said, even to get out downtown for most of it is $5 round-trip in subway fares. But the bigger problem is that I haven't really gotten the hang of all this yet, both in terms of tapping into the stream of possible activities, and then also filtering it to what actually feels worth checking out, as opposed to just 'anything that isn't the interior of this apartment'... which I suspect is a phenomenon related to Fear Of Missing Something.)
So instead, I end up sitting around half the day refreshing Facebook and LJ... which leads me to the insight that perhaps another part of my problem is that I am lonely, you guys. I'm used to having, not just a lot of responsibility, but generally a lot of inputs, social and otherwise. I haven't known what bored feels like in YEARS, because I organized my life that way. :-) It's good to get some downtime, but it leaves me a little... directionless.
Further compounding all this: One of the schools where I had interviewed last week has already said "no, thank you", and the other hasn't gotten back to me yet, but I'm not feeling super optimistic at the moment. (Fortunately, I am happy to announce that I *do* have another interview this Thursday morning -- thanks to
jessruth's good networking! -- at a certain other Manhattan day school of the Modern Orthodox persuasion, so we'll see what happens there. But everything else I've submitted so far is just disappearing into a black hole.) Likewise, after I had such a good time with the Iolanthe performance this weekend, and was starting to look forward to having more singing opportunities with fun people in the near future... the results of my Blue Hill audition came back tonight as "gee, we had so many fine applicants, wouldn't you like to participate on the Backstage side this year?" Sigh. I mean, yes, I would, and I will, but I'm kind of going "But, but, don't I get to sing??" :-}On the plus side, today I went out and had a nice lunch date with
justom's sister-in-law, who was passing through Midtown, and then I walked around and window-shopped (successfully getting all the fun of trying on clothes without actually succumbing to buying anything). And I got a library card, which means many more new books and DVDs in my immediate future.And don't forget we have our housewarming this Sunday night!
And now I think it's really bedtime.
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Date: Wednesday, September 21st, 2011 01:08 pm (UTC)Also, don't worry about the theater -- remember that NYC is *full* of aspiring singers and actors, what with TV shows and Broadway all around, there's much more talent than in the Boston area (or rather, many more people, in Boston, it's mostly hobbyists). You're in a bigger pond now; I would be willing to bet that except for a few superstars, they recommend for everyone to work backstage first, to see if they're dedicated or just prima donnas.
Give yourself some structure to the day. Put a timer on for 15 minutes and start writing/unpacking/walking. You can stop when the timer is done. And then just do those things, without any particular goal other than time. (If you're writing you don't have to get into a project, just write in a journal, even if it's full of "I am just writing for 15 minutes but I don't know what to say"). You don't *have* to stop when the timer is done, but such a short amount of time often helps me get over the inertia of sitting on my butt.
(particularly on the "go for a walk". you don't have to pound the pavement for 2 hours, but find your local green spaces / bagel shops / whatever. 15 minutes a day, just get out there, before it starts raining the rest of this week!)
Also - can't you watch DVD's on your computer?