Can't sleep, clowns will eat me

[chanaleh]

I've started waking up at 4am again the last couple days; not (principally) from anxiety, more because I probably need to reinstate "no liquids after 9pm", but it is annoying.

Generally, though, in the past day or so I am starting to feel marginally less stressed. (I had dinner tonight -- er, Wednesday night -- with edashevs and mearah, who took one look at me and said "You look great! More relaxed!" Well, yes, although also no...)

+ major work event came off very successfully on Tues night
+ three weeks of prep time to go until the next major work event
+ budgeting issues (which have previously been causing me to lose sleep) on a different large work project are being properly resolved
+ a few promising candidates have come in already for my job opening
+ did grocery shopping for the first time in a month
+ as previously noted, successfully talked to my mom last Sunday about the NYC move
+ only one more weekend to get through without justom
+ fun/exciting stuff coming up the next three weekends
+ planning to use this Saturday night to go see the Longwood Players' production of The Secret Garden (Saturday's their closing show). Anyone want to join me? Or meet for dinner beforehand?

- summer weekends are evaporating rapidly
+ girls' getaway to Maine with jessruth planned for July 7-10

- still need to write my parting remarks for the tremontstshul board, to be read at the elections meeting in my absence (no one's asked me to do this, but it would be nice)
- Honorable Menschen political bullshit still ongoing, though it's calmed slightly of late
+/- total platonic* crush on newest HM tenor, the yeshiva bochur *(It's not, really, but as he's 23, frum, and looking for a 21-year-old frum girl to get married to posthaste, it might as well be! ... hours on end of animated deep conversation about music, Judaism, philosophy, and girl troubles notwithstanding. I am resolved to just enjoy that connection without projecting my complications onto it. He has this "I'm too geeky, no one religious understands me! But I'm too religious, no one geeky understands me!" thing going on, for which I am, of course, a total sucker. Actually he reminds me a little of ablock in some ways, or at least has some endearing Puplike qualities about him, such as a secret weakness for chick flicks. Also he has the dorkiest, most heartfelt laugh, which is especially gratifying in response to arcane Jewish jokes from me, as if I've made a connection he never thought anyone would have thought of in a million years. Sigh. :-)
- still need to send my niece, who turned 13 (!) yesterday, a b'day present
- still need to work on getting clothes and household stuff purged (jessruth is coming up for the purpose next weekend, but this Saturday is Give Your Stuff Away Day), not to mention do a month's worth of laundry
- nagging relationship anxieties are always magnified at 4am wakeups
- therapy in 2.5 hours, which makes me wonder if I can't get another hour's nap in before the original alarm actually goes off.

ETA, 5:58am: No, apparently no point. *puts coffee on (decaf) and goes to look at this week's Torah reading instead*

Comments

[taylweaver.livejournal.com]

Don't know if this will make you feel any better, but I woke up in a bit of a panic some time last night (decided I didn't want to look at the clock) because I dreamed quite vividly that a pigeon had flown in my window and was sitting on top of me, flapping its wings and making pigeon noises. It took some serious effort to get back to sleep after that.

Best of luck getting back onto a better sleep schedule.

[muffyjo]

As one who suffers this OFTEN this is what has been working for me:
Get up immediately. Warm up some milk in the nuclear device. Add a dollop of honey. Drink. Write down anxieties while continuing to drink. After brain dump, put myself back to bed and promise I'll deal with it all in the light of day.

If still just lying in bed, I go through a relaxation exercise. I start at the top of my head and relax the muscles there, then my face, my jaw, my ears, my neck...all the way down my body to my toes, sometimes I catch my jaw tightening back up as I relax the shoulders so I go back to relaxing that...

I rarely make it to relaxing my toes anymore.

I don't know if it will work for you, but I offer it in hope it will be helpful. As for the rest, I am so sorry you're having a hard time getting it and hope you get more of it really soon. :)

[oneagain.livejournal.com]

Failing to keep up with lj, but there is something I am going to write and I saw this when I logged in. I think Muffyjo's suggestion is a good one. Personally, I take sleep meds and occasionally eat lotsa sugar so I can fall asleep from the sugar crash if the meds aren't doing it.

And on a purely self-interested note, I'm wondering if one of the things you might be looking for a new home for might be a microwave? Mine died...

[chanaleh.livejournal.com]

I think we're probably going to take the microwave (and continue using it at least until August in any case), but I will keep you in mind if that changes!

[noghri.livejournal.com]

Come upstairs and visit me when you come to the show. I'm running spot!

[chanaleh.livejournal.com]

I can do that?? Awesome, I will! :-)

[mercurysparkle.livejournal.com]

*Hug* You are always welcome to drop by and relax on our porch (now with real comfy porch furniture!). Further, if you ever want help with organizational stuff, let me know.

[moria923.livejournal.com]

thorbol and I are planning to see The Secret Garden this weekend. We're still deciding which performance to attend, so if we could get together with you for dinner on Saturday and then go, we'd be up for that!

[chanaleh.livejournal.com]

Fine by me! There are a couple of workable dinner places right near there. Timing will depend a little on whether and when I have a Menschen sectional on Sat. afternoon.

[chanaleh.livejournal.com]

... except now I may have a last-minute overnight guest for Shabbat and it might be that I should not abandon my house any earlier than will be necessary for the show! I will find out later this morning and we can fine-tune plans.

[davidfcooper.livejournal.com]

Sorry about your insomnia. When I can't sleep I try to write (I can't recall ever having both writer's block and insomnia).

Re: "+/- total platonic* crush": Passionate platonic relationships are under-appreciated; they provide many of the same rewards and personal growth as romantic/sexual relationships, but provoke less jealousy in primary partners/relationships.

[chanaleh.livejournal.com]

I am totally on board with that notion (the latter, I mean, though also the former now that I ponder it). :-)